At 2:33am EST, the Associated Press reported that Donald Trump has been elected President of the United States.
The sun will come out tomorrow, friends. (Unless maybe it doesn't.)
***
"I leave for two hours and look at that, the whole world changes."
"This was about the smaller towns, the rural communities who are not connected to the world and have not done particularly well with globalization. They came out to vote."
"Donald Trump WOOOO! We're all gonna die!"
"-Thank God, I'm Canadian.
-Yeah, but y'all can't be saved. You're too close to America. We'll take your oil! And your elk!" "
-Yeah, but y'all can't be saved. You're too close to America. We'll take your oil! And your elk!" "
"My father is Republican. I just sent him a very questionable text message. I'd better go. If I have another beer, I'm going to send him another one."
"I bet British people are laughing at us right now. We've taken back 'ignorance' from them after the whole Brexit thing."
"They'd have made way more if she won, with all the celebrating."
"I bet British people are laughing at us right now. We've taken back 'ignorance' from them after the whole Brexit thing."
"I don't know what to say. I feel like I'm in my own world right now. I woke up this morning so excited she would win but now I have to go find a dog to pet. And drink a lot of wine."
"-How are you feeling?
-Stunned. Just... stunned."
-Stunned. Just... stunned."
"He went on stage and uttered the worst vulgarity you can say in public, but they cheered him on. 25,000 people. That's who he is. They tried to change him after that. He wouldn't change. He said 'I know what I'm doing, I'm putting on a show here.' Does that show continue when he is President?"
"- [From the television] We're getting live feeds and reports, apparently it's just euphoria inside Trump Tower right now.
-Yeah, Dude. You mean fuckin' Sauron's tower."
-Yeah, Dude. You mean fuckin' Sauron's tower."
"This is unlike any race we've ever had. Hilary Clinton, if she has to give a concession speech -- it's just impossible for me to imagine what she'd even say. Her view of Donald Trump as President is apocalyptic. Last time she said that her supporters had put 18 million cracks in that glass ceiling. I don't know what to say now."
"[Via Text] I left. Had to go to work and focus on my career in China apparently."
"Well, it's looking like 4 more years of living in Shanghai for me."
"There are a lot of women out here, wearing pants suits, wearing white, to celebrate the fact that a woman will be elected President. It seems like that's not going to happen here tonight."
"Trump is a man who has shown that he can change his position on an issue literally in one answer. The use of nuclear weapons for one."
"Warren 2020."
***
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